A dream come true 2

In the first chapter I told how, having been attracted to diapers all my life, I finally told my wife, and after overcoming initial strong resistance, she began treating me as a baby.

Chapter two:

I went back downstairs, cleaned the table as fast as I could, all the time trying to hold my bladder. After I had finished cleaning up the kitchen, jumping from one foot to the other, I went to the living room and sat on the couch, which relieved the pressure somewhat. I tried to read but without glasses had to settle for simply leaving through a magazine. After a while I was getting utterly bored. So I was glad when Laura came into the room.

-Come on let’s go, I have some urgent shopping to do.

-Darling, I can’t come along this way.

-You’ll have to, little babies can’t stay home alone. Come on, hurry up. Any way, don’t be afraid nobody will notice a thing.

I had not much choice but to obey, and to be honest, the idea of going out diapered did excite me. Of course Laura had taken the car keys and I understood I was not going to do the driving. But I was still surprised that when we got in the garage she opened the back door and when I sat down she helped me with the safety belt. I felt quiet stupid sitting in the back with my wife driving but didn’t dare to say anything.

Walking around in the supermarket the pressure became so strong I decided to let go just a little bit. This relieved me somewhat but after a couple of minutes the urgency was as bad as before. So I repeated the process a couple of times. After a while I realised that the diapers were getting quiet wet and hoped they wouldn’t leak. At that moment we passed the clothing department and my wife suddenly stopped.

-Oh I see the Levi’s are in promotion. Didn’t you need a new pair of jeans?

-Yes, but that’s not urgent.

-OK, but now that we are here you better try one.

-I can’t go to the fitting room wearing diapers.

-Nobody is going to enter the fitting room.

Blushing all over I whispered:

-I can’t, I’ve wet my diapers.

She stopped and looked at me smiling triumphantly.

-So what, since nobody is going to enter the fitting room?

She took two pairs of jeans out of the shelves and pushed me towards the fitting rooms. When I took off my trousers I noticed that the diapers were even wetter than I had expected. Laura too was surprised.

-Oh, you really couldn’t control yourself, could you? We better hurry before they start leaking.

Of course we immediately realised that trying to pull a new pair of tight fitting jeans over the soaked diapers was impossible.

-This won’t work. Maybe I should find you another model, one that’s not so tight and will fit better over your diapers. But that’ll be for anther time since I really think we should get home and give you a change.

Slowly, taking care not to rip the diapers, we got my old jeans back on and hurried to the check out counter. When we got home we realised that my daughter was back. Whispering, my wife ordered me to go upstairs assuring me she would follow immediately.  I took off my trousers as fast as possible. Not able to hold up any longer, but confronted with the fact that the door to the toilet was still locked, I emptied my bladder in the diapers. Relieving myself and feeling the diapers fill up even more was wonderful. Enjoying the feeling I didn’t notice that the diapers were now so soaked that they leaked heavily, forming a small puddle on the bathroom floor until Laura entered. Scolding me as she would a small child she opened the toilet pushed me inside, pulled off the diapers dropping them on the floor. She told me to sit on the toilet and handing me the soap told me to wash myself, clean up the puddle, and to come downstairs. That’s how ended our first shared diaper experience.

After that first night we didn’t repeat the experience for a number of days. But then I couldn’t resist any more and one night asked Laura if I could wear diapers to bed. She immediately took the clue and diapered me, which of course led us to have wonderful sex again. From then on diapers became a regular feature of our sex life, Laura often taking the initiative. Sometimes I would put them back on after having sex but I never wetted them, and Laura didn’t make me wear them during the day nor repeated treating me as a baby. Even if I had mixed feelings about that one time when she had spoon-fed me some mushy breakfast, had me wear diapers to the supermarket and forced me to wet them, I secretly longed to repeat that experience but didn’t dare to ask her.

I didn’t have to. One day, when both our kids were once again sleeping over with friends, Laura took the initiative.

It started just like the first time in the morning by her controlling my diapers and congratulating me on not wetting them. I was excited when she told me to brush my teeth while she prepared breakfast and discovered she had locked the door to the toilet again. When I got downstairs it was clear that this time Laura had everything well prepared. She fastened a bib around my neck and spoon-fed me some real baby cereals. When we had emptied the bowl she pressed a baby-bottle with warm milk in my hand telling me to drink it while she took her breakfast. As the milk tasted different from ordinary milk I realised she had bought baby formula. It didn’t taste good but since the cereals had been very sweet I was thirsty and slowly sucked the bottle empty. Both of us felt a little awkward but we enjoyed it.

When we were ready she took me by the hand and led me to the living room where she had put some children’s books on the carpet. Popping a pacifier in my mouth she told me to be good while she got dressed. By that time I had to pee very badly of course and decided to let go. After a while Laura came back and to my surprise she had put on her tennis dress.

-How about growing up real fast and play some tennis?

Already bored being a baby and reading children’s books I agreed immediately. But when I got up she noticed my wet diapers. She got very upset and scolded me real hard.

-How is it possible? Am I supposed to handle those wet diapers? Well forget it! Take those things off and get a shower….

I felt badly wronged since she had started the baby-play that morning. But at the same time she made me feel ashamed so I didn’t say anything while I went upstairs. After a while she joined me in the bathroom. She had calmed down but at her sarcasm I immediately noticed she was still angry.

-Is my baby going to wear diapers under his tennis shorts?

This seemed out of the question to me but I didn’t dare to say so since I wasn’t sure if she was serious. I choose not to answer at all.

-Well, are you?

I smiled but she didn’t smile back. I decided to play it safe.

-That won’t be necessary, we’ll be back in an hour or so won’t we?

-All right then. Hurry up.

We enjoyed our game and when we finished, having completely forgotten the incident, I proposed to have a drink before going home. I ordered a beer and Laura a glass of water.  When I had emptied half my glass she switched it with her empty one.

-Hey what are you doing? I ordered the beer because I was real thirsty.

-I think you have had enough, you don’t want to wet your shorts do you? Any way I don’t think little babies should drink beer.

This really pissed me off but since I didn’t want to make a scene in public I just gave her a furious glance. But this only seemed to encourage her to go on. Standing up she took my hand and said in a clear voice,

-I think it’s time to go to the bathroom.

Resisting I looked anxiously around me to see if anybody had heard this. Nobody seemed to look at us but as Laura started to pull real hard I realised it wouldn’t take long before some of the other members would start noticing. I stood up whispering in her ear

-What are you trying to do?

As only answer I got a smile and gripping my hand real hard she started walking towards the bathrooms. There wasn’t much I could do but follow. When she opened the door to the women’s bathrooms however I refused to enter. At that moment someone passed by and gave us an inquisitive glance. Laura took advantage of this distraction to pull me inside the women’s restrooms, which luckily were empty.

-Stop it. This is enough.

But before I realised it she had opened my shorts, pulled them completely down and grabbed my penis. I suddenly enjoyed the situation. Laura directed me to one of the toilets and putting herself behind me aimed my penis towards the pot. By that time however it had hardened which made it rather difficult to aim downwards. Right at that moment we heard someone coming into the bathrooms. In a reflex I closed the door to our toilet just in time. Both of us started giggling. Next we were kissing each other and before long we were making love standing up right there next to the toilet.

Next chapter: https://clairodon.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/a-dream-come-true-3/

Ciel ou enfer Chapitre 6

Chapitre 6  La visite

Dans le premier chapitre je racontais comment à 18 ans je tombais amoureux d’un homme de 35 ans et comment nous aimions faire des jeux de rôles. Des jeux ou initialement je jouais le rôle d’une adolescente mais qui m’emmenaient à accepter d’être traité comme un bébé par l’ex de mon copain. Dans le second chapitre je racontais comment nous aimions jouer en public et comment ces jeux devenaient  de plus en plus compulsifs. Dans les 2 chapitres suivants je racontais comment j’étais devenu accroc aux jeux de bébés et aux couches et comment  je  perdais graduellement tout contrôle. Dans le 5ième chapitre je racontais comment les psychiatres essayaient de me « guérir ».

Dans ce 6ième chapitre je raconte que mon ami me trouvait une « nanny » pour prendre soin de moi.

Nous étions tous d’accord que l’hôpital avait été une mauvaise idée, mais puisque personne n’était disponible pour prendre soin de moi 24 heures sur 24 je ne pouvais pas sortir pour continuer un traitement en ambulatoire. D’abord je devais rétablir un certain degré de contrôle. Mais le plus long temps que je restais dans l’hôpital le plus que je perdais le contrôle. Comme j’ai expliqué dans le chapitre précédent je crois que c’était inévitable, mais entre temps je devenais de plus en plus désespérée.

Et puis Guy trouvait une solution incroyable et généreuse: il engageait une babysitteuse pour moi ! Je suppose que cela parait assez fou, mais c’était vraiment une solution merveilleuse. Elle était philippine, d’une trentaine d’années, et avait été « nanny » pour des enfants de tout age depuis une dizaine d’années. L’idée était qu’elle resterait un ou deux mois,  le temps de me remettre aplomb et que je reprenne mes cours.

Tout de suite elle savait comment prendre en charge mes différents rôles. Le premier jour j’étais trop timide pour rentrer dans le rôle de Pupuce, la fillette de 5 ou 6 ans, mais je jouais Lo, la petite garce de 14 – 15 ans. Je suppose que j’essayais de la provoquer mais elle trouvait tout de suite la manière de connecter, et immédiatement un lien était établit.

J’étais trop heureuse d’être sorti de l’hôpital. Le premier week-end Guy m’emmenait à un restaurant élégant pour fêter mon retour. Avant et après nous faisions l’amour affamé, pour compenser tout le temps perdu. Dimanche matin je jouais «la petite fille à papa » et on faisait de nouveau l’amour. L’après midi on visitait une exposition ou Lo scandalisait tout le monde en flirtant publiquement avec cet homme adulte. Ceci nous excitait et on rentrait le plus vite possible pour faire encore de l’amour.

Le lundi il partait au bureau me laissant dans les mains de Maria, ma « nanny ».  Elle était vraiment très gentille et sensible. En me réveillant, découvrant que Guy était parti,  je m’étais senti triste. Je m’étais levée et  jouais avec une de mes poupées. Quand Maria me trouvait ainsi elle savait immédiatement comment réagir. Elle semblait  comprendre quel rôle je jouais. Bien que je jouais avec ma poupée je n’étais pas dans le rôle de Pupuce mais plutôt dans celui de Petite Claire de 10 ou 11 ans, cherchant la consolation dans ce jeu enfantin. Et  elle comprenait que dans ce rôle je ne voulais pas être surprise en jouant aux poupées. Elle feignait donc de n’avoir rien vu et on passait une bonne journée ensemble. Elle m’apprenait plein de trucs amusant, avant qu’elle m’aidait gentiment à sortir de mon rôle.

La différence avec l’hôpital était incroyable. J’étais surpris de la vitesse que j’oubliais mon séjour humiliant dans cette horrible institution. Tout de suite je redevenais  la jeune beauté qui adorait manipuler son entourage. Je retrouvais mes différents rôles mais grâce au fait que je les avais données des noms et des caractères j’avais l’impression de les contrôler. Maria faisait connaissance de toute la petite famille. Elle adorait tous mes rôles mais elle aussi avait une préférence pour Pupuce de 5 ans.

Et dés la première fois que je jouais Bébé avec elle je n’avais pas peur de m’abandonner complètement. Une expérience extraordinaire. Devenir un petit bébé sans défense, retrouver ces sentiments et pensées primaires, est vraiment au-delà de toute description.

Tout était parfait. Ou presque. Il y avait un petit problème.  J’avais l’impression que Guy avait  prise peur de mes différents rôles, avec l’exception de Lo de 14 ans. Mais cela ne me préoccupais pas vraiment. Je demandais à Maria de faire attention de m’aider à sortir de mes autres rôles avant qu’il ne rentrait.

Je reprenais à raconter ma vie de tous les jours sur le forum et continuais à recevoir des conseils. Avec mes rendez-vous avec le psy cela me permettait à chercher les origines de mon addiction. Je me souvenais par exemple que déjà comme jeune fille je jouais des rôles, comme par exemple je rêvais que j’étais la fille d’un acteur connu. Et je comprenais aussi que dans ma « vrai » personnalité j’avais des traits de caractères « enfantins » comme ma spontanéité exagérée et mon imagination sans bornes.

Puis Noël arrivait. Guy et moi passaient la soirée de Noël en tête à tête romantique. Il avait acheté des cadeaux pour tous mes rôles ce que je trouvais trop adorable. Le jour après nous visitions ma mère. Je n’ai jamais eu une bonne  relation avec elle. Dés ma petite enfance elle critiquait tout ce que je faisais. Elle a toujours été jalouse de l’amour de mon père, et après son décès nous nous éloignâmes encore plus.

C’est vrai que je m’étais toujours senti supérieure à elle. Mon séjour à l’hôpital avait brisée un peu cette idée  de supériorité et j’avais peur d’être confronté à son intérêt artificielle pour « mon problème ».  Mes grâce à la présence charmante de Guy la journée passait sans problème. Je devais évidemment écouter des remarques concernant Guy étant plus proche de son age que du mien,  et que l’hôpital avait l’air de m’avoir rendu moins arrogante. Mais Guy arrivait chaque fois à changer la conversation avant que cela ne devenait une dispute.

Le lendemain les choses se compliquaient de nouveau. Guy avait une fille de 12 ans dont il avait ignoré l’existence jusqu’il y 4 ans auparavant. Elle s’appelait Carlotta et habitait avec sa mère dans une autre ville mais depuis  4 ans ils se voyaient de temps en temps. De commun accord nous nous étions toujours arrangés pour que je ne sois pas là quand elle venait. Mais maintenant Guy insistait que je la rencontrais et elle venait passer deux jours avec nous.

J’avais peur de cette rencontre puisque je craignais qu’elle aille être jalouse de l’amour de Guy pour moi. Et je la comprendrais en plus, puisque notre relation était érotique, mais en même temps presque paternelle.

Je m’habillais et me maquillais le plus adulte possible, mais je savais que malgré tous mes efforts je ne paraitrais jamais mon âge. Comme attendu la première rencontre ne se passait pas bien.

Elle était habillé d’une manière que je ne trouvais pas approprié pour son âge, ni adapté à son corps un peu rond, et pas complètement formé. Elle ne cachait pas sa surprise et son antipathie quand elle me voyait. Tout de suite Carlotta manifestait une agressivité  de la manière que des filles de 12 ans peuvent le faire pour masquer leur insécurité.

Elle faisait des remarques désobligeante aussi bien vers moi que vers son père ce que nous agaçait tout les deux. Mais puisque j’étais conscient de mon rôle d’imposteur je ne disais rien et faisait signe à Guy de ne pas faire attention non plus.

Mais elle ne cessait pas, et après le jour précédent avec ma mère, j’avais toute la peine du monde pour ne pas céder. Petit à petit je rentrais dans le rôle de Lo, et commençait à la traiter comme si j’étais une rivale de son âge. Je me pendais au coup de Guy en lui lançant des regards provocants. Je lui donnais des conseils pour se maquiller et s’habiller, de tel manière que c’était clair que je trouvais son apparence raté. Carlotta rentrait dans le jeu et m’attaquait en me disant que moi-même j’avais l’aspect d’une petite fille malgré mes habits d’adulte. Je lui répliquais que c’était possible mais que son père m’aimais comme ça. C’était évidemment plein dans la cible. Blessé, mais sans le montrer, elle se mettait debout et s’adressant à nous deux ensemble, lançait: « Cela ne m’étonne pas de ce con ». Puis elle ajoutait qu’elle devait faire pipi et nous laissait seule.

Je m’excusais auprès de Guy et promettait de ne plus me laisser monter par cette petite garce de 12 ans.

Quand elle revenait elle tenait en une main une poupée Bratz  que Guy m’avait offert pour Noël, et dans l’autre une des mes poupées baigneurs. Elle restait dans la porte et, me regardant d’une manière horrifié mais en même temps triomphante, me demandait si ces poupées étaient à moi.  Je craquais. Me ruant vers elle j’arrachais mes poupées de ces mains en criant, comme une petite fille de 5 ans,  qu’elle ne pouvait pas toucher mes jouets. Elle m’avait regardé d’une manière incrédule. Trop étonné elle était resté muet pendant quelques secondes, et puis après avoir regardé alternativement son père et moi, elle c’était encouru. Et Guy, en panique, l’avait suivi à la rue.

Alarmé pas le bruit Maria venait et me trouvait assise par terre en pleurant inconsolablement.  Elle  m’emmenait à ma chambre ou elle enlevait mon maquillage coulé et me choisissait une jolie petite robe. Je me calmais en rentrais dans le rôle de Pupuce, la petite fillette heureuse.

Guy et Carlotta tardaient au moins une heure à rentrer. Quand ils rentraient ils me trouvaient en train de jouer entouré de mes Bratz. Carlotta avait hésité un petit peu mais puis, à ma surprise, s’était mise à jouer avec moi. Elle prenait un petit air condensant avec moi, mais d’une manière gentille. Et Pupuce trouvait ça normale d’une fille de 12 ans, et étais toute fière que cette grande fille veuille bien jouer avec elle.

Vers 7 heures Maria me mettait à table en nouant un bavoir autour de mon cou. Et Carlotta m’aidait d’abord à manger, et puis à me mettre au bain. Elle était complètement rentrée dans le jeu et avait l’air d’adorer.  Maria insistait malgré mes protestations que j’aille dormir tôt. Je suppose qu’elle arrangeait pour que Guy puisse passer une soirée avec sa fille.

Avant de me mettre au lit Maria insistait à me langer. Carlotta s’était mis à rire mais quand Maria ouvrait l’armoire et elle voyait les paquets de couches et de culottes en plastique elle comprenait que ce n’étais pas une blague. Pupuce était gênée d’être langé en présence de sa « grande sœur » mais Maria ne se laissait pas changer d’avis. Et timidement je me couchais sur mon lit en montant ma petite robe de nuit et ouvrant mes jambes. Puis Maria proposait que Carlotta mette ma couche. Pupuce était tout excité quand Maria montrait à Carlotta comment glisser la couche en dessous de mon pette et comment appliquer la lotion antiallergique. Carlotta, tout excité également, suivait ces conseils, fermait la couche autour de mes cuisses, et me faisait me mettre debout pour pouvoir monter la culotte en plastic autour de ma taille. Avant de me mettre au lit je mettais mes bras autour de son cou et lui donnait un gros câlin.

Le lendemain je me levais tôt. Tout le monde dormait encore. J’enlevais ma couche  – bien trempée comme d’habitude – me lavais et m’habillais. Je mettais des collants noirs opaques, sous un short en jean tout court, et un T-shirt gothique. Je mettais des vernis à ongles et rouge-à-lèvres bleus, et maquillais mes yeux très forts. Lo était prête pour la journée.

Quand Carlotta me voyait elle avait une petite réaction de surprise, mais puis, comme j’avais prévue,  elle était tout enthousiaste de mon aspect. Quand je lui proposais de venir chercher des habits pour elle dans mon armoire elle était trop contente. On s’amusait à essayer des habits en bonnes copines pendants plus qu’une heure. Bien qu’elle avait plus au moins ma taille la plupart de mes habits ne lui convenaient pas, à cause de son corps qui n’avait pas encore perdu ces rondeurs enfantines. Mais finalement elle était habillée également avec des collants foncés, en dessous d’une tunique courte. Je l’aidais à se maquiller – elle m’avouait que c’était la première fois qu’elle se maquillait les yeux – et tout fière du résultat on descendait pour se montrer à Maria. Eclatant de rire elle nous félicitait. Mais quand nous insistions d’aller faire des courses habillées comme ça elle l’interdisait catégoriquement : « Et si vos mères vous voyaient comme ça? Pas question.».  Cela me faisait sourire mais j’insistais. Malgré notre insistance elle ne cédait pas. Finalement on se mettait d’accord qu’on pouvait garder nos vêtements mais pas le maquillage, ni le rouge-à-lèvres et le vernis à ongles.

La discussion suivante était que j’insistais à partir seule avec Carlotta. Mais sur ce point non plus Maria ne cédait pas.  Je sais qu’elle avait des instructions très formelles de Guy de ne jamais me laisser partir seule mais j’essayais quand même de temps en temps. Le compromis trouvé était que je pouvais conduire, avec Carlotta assise à côté de moi, et Maria derrière. Comme je savais le fait que je pouvais conduire impressionnait ma nouvelle copine.

Arrivé au centre commerciale Maria était d’accord à nous laisser balader seule. (Je savais qu’elle allait nous suivre à distance mais j’avais déjà l’habitude et cela ne me gênait plus). Carlotta et moi avions beaucoup de plaisir à faire du shopping ensemble comme deux ados. Si le soir précédent elle avait aimé être ma grande sœur, maintenant elle adorait être la sœur cadette.

Soudainement je m’arrêtais en exclamant que je devais faire pipi. Carlotta me regardais avec des grands yeux effrayés. « Tu ne vas pas avoir … ? ». J’éclatais de rire et la prenant par la main je commençais à courir vers les toilettes. « Si justement, si je n’arrive pas vite aux toilettes je vais avoir un accident ! ».

Pouffant de rire on arrivait aux toilettes ou nous précipitâmes chacune dans une cabine. Quand je sortais je la trouvais en face du miroir en train de s’arranger ces cheveux. Je me mettais à côté d’elle en disant que je la trouvais jolie. Cela la faisait rougir. Je la demandais si elle avait déjà embrassé une fille. Elle secouait la tête. Sur ça je l’ai tiré à l’intérieur d’une des toilettes ou je l’ai embrassé long temps sur la bouche. Jusqu’au moment que nous entendions Maria qui demandait si nous étions là.

Sortant de la toilette mon regard avait croisé le regard fâché de « ma nanny », mais personne n’avait fait une remarque.

Rentré à la maison on retrouvait Guy qui était tout content de constater que nous étions devenus de bonnes copines. J’espérais que Carlotta allait venir visiter son père plus souvent à partir de ce jour

https://clairodon.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/ciel-ou-enfer-chap-7/

A dream come true 1

As I have very few clear or coherent memories of my childhood I don’t recall when I started to be attracted to diapers.  I do have a small number of memory flashes and I know that during some time I had problems occasionally wetting my bed, as have many boys. Less common is the fact that when I was 5 years old I still regularly wetted my pants during the day in kindergarten I also remember one day when I was in first or second grade I completely messed up my pants in class. If all this was an unconscious invitation to get diapered, my parents unfortunately didn’t get it. At night I was not allowed to drink before going to bed and there was always a plastic mattress protector under the sheets but otherwise my parents didn’t take further precautions.

The next memory is from many years later. I don’t remember how I discovered I liked the feeling of being “pampered” but when I was 13 or 14 years old I sometimes padded my briefs with a small towel, once even going to school that way. At that same age I bought one of those notebooks in which 6 year olds learn to write between two lines. I amused myself writing slowly, forcing myself to form every letter very carefully. I also recall that while babysitting at the neighbours I tried to put on a pair of bright yellow shorts of their 5 years old daughter, which didn’t fit of course.

For the next 20 years or so I don’t remember being interested in diapers.  In the mean time I had finished law and business studies, had started a very successful career, was happily married and had two children. Once more I don’t have any recollection of the first time my long forgotten interests came back. The children were already a long time past diaper age, I guess they were about 7 and 9 years old. I don’t know if I went searching for it on purpose but one day I discovered a stack of discarded cloths of my kids and a number of cotton diapers. To my regret the cloths weren’t of any use of course but for the first time I was able to wear real diapers and soon rediscovered the pleasure of wetting them. From then on I continued to diaper me occasionally.

But shortly after my discovery the stack of old cloths and diapers (or what remained of it since I had to throw them away after use, not having the opportunity to wash and dry them) had disappeared. (I suppose my wife had discarded them or donated them to some charity). So I started buying disposable diaper-briefs and plastic incontinence pants. On a couple of occasions I bought a pacifier, a baby-bottle or a bib which increased my feeling of well being.

Of course my wife, Laura, didn’t know about my special interests. With almost all my time consumed by job, family, friends and hobbies (mostly reading and some tennis) and considering that my wife and I spend most of our free time together it will be clear that I had very few opportunities to enjoy my secret pleasures. Mostly on occasions of a rare business trip. But that didn’t bother me at all. I enjoyed it when I had the occasion and that was it. I never paid much attention to it nor did I wonder if there were other people with the same interests. One day to my big surprise I saw some Adult Babies on a talk show. The discovery that there were others excited me but the slightly exhibitionist nature and the silliness of the people on the show didn’t appeal to me.

A couple of years later however I discovered the Adult Baby sites on the Internet. (I can’t say that it was a coincidence since I typed the word diaper in one of the search engines). I was very surprised to discover this whole hidden world. This time I did identify with this world (or at least parts of it). I enjoyed reading diaper-stories, enjoyed the photos of diapered women and for a short period participated in one of the forums. What excited me most was the fact that some AB’s seemed to share their experience with their partners. The possibility to share this part of me with my wife was enormously appealing. My dream became to be able to use diapers in presence of my wife, -eventually even to convince her to diaper me and treat me as a baby- and to get her to dress as a little girl, eventually even to get her in diapers.

To realise these dreams I conceived a double plan. On the one hand I asked my wife to wear my daughters younger looking cloths, for instance a short pleaded chequered skirt.  My daughter being an adolescent by now and being taller and somewhat heavier than my wife the choice was rather limited. So I started buying skirts and dresses for my wife. I was pleasantly surprised by the degree she was willing to go along with this at first.

My first goal however was to get Laura to accept me wearing diapers. The simplest way of course would have been just to tell her. But that seemed impossible. So I decided to simulate a medical problem. The first step was to have some “accidents” during my sleep. The first time I wanted to pee in bed it was much more difficult than I expected. It cost me an enormous amount of concentration to wet my pyjamas and bed just a little bid. But doing this had been pleasant. And the next morning there was a yellow stain with a diameter of about 10 centimetres on the sheet. I didn’t say anything to my wife and that evening we went to bed without her saying anything. I was wondering if she hadn’t noticed but this seemed highly implausible. I waited a couple of days and then had another accident. Again it cost a lot of effort. That day when we went to sleep Laura did ask me if I had some kind of problem I told her I didn’t know and agreed to go to a physician. My wife, usually very concerned about health issues, didn’t seem too worried. But she did make an appointment the next day with our general practitioner, which, as I had expected, sent me to a specialist. I got an appointment with the specialist a couple of days later.

In the mean time I had commented this plan on the AB Internet forum I was participating in at that time and had received quiet some reactions, unanimously negative. People told me that organising such a lie was disrespectful towards my wife, that one day I would have to tell her the truth and that it would be worse, etc. Since I really love and respect Laura a lot this comments made me think. But for the moment I decided to go on. The specialist, to whom I told only about one accident, said he was sure that there was no problem, “this things can happen”, but just to make sure he wanted complete analysis and tests to be done.

On the way home I bought a pack of disposable diaper-briefs. Relating the visit to my wife I told her the doctor had been very reassuring, but that he wanted a number of analysis before he could tell anything specific, and he had recommended wearing diapers in the mean time. Since I hadn’t had an accident for more than a week now this didn’t make much sense but Laura didn’t say anything. She seemed puzzled however, especially when she learned I had bought the diapers already.  That night I was very excited putting on the diapers and sleeping with diapers next to my wife. I felt happy. It seemed like a dream come true. But I realised that I had made only one small step towards my goal. The next evening when I was preparing to diaper me again Laura stopped me, asking if this was really necessary. I hesitated for a second and then answered that I didn’t know, maybe not, but that I didn’t mind wearing a diaper, on the contrary that I kind of liked it. She couldn’t believe or understand it.

-What do you mean, kind of like it?

-Well, it gives me a good feeling. It feels slightly erotic.

Laura looked at me in disbelief. And then suddenly seemed to understand something.

-Did you do this on purpose?

-I wanted to tell you and didn’t know how.

-Tell me what?

So I told her about being attracted to diapers all my life, that I wasn’t alone with this interest, that diapers were not a substitute for making love, on the contrary that I wanted to share this with her because I loved her and was convinced that our love making would be even more passionate if I could wear diapers when I wanted, that me telling her all this was a proof of my love for her and of my trust in her, that it was not only diapers but that I wanted to be treated as a little baby by her just once in a while,…..  We talked for a very long time but she didn’t seem able to accept it. Especially the fact that I not only wore diapers but actually used them shocked her. She used the words disgusting and sick to describe me.

That night I didn’t sleep very well and the next day I thought our conversation over and over trying to figure out what to do. I knew that if I abandoned now I would never get another chance. On the other hand I didn’t want to hurt my wife. I started to realise what a shock it must have been learning all this after more than 15 years of marriage. Of course the fact that I actually liked to use diapers shocked with her sense of hygiene but that was not the real problem. Laura is a very independent but at the same time somewhat insecure person and even if she is very enterprising the fact that I will always be there to back her up when something would go wrong is important for her functioning. Now I was changing that relation without any warning. How could she rely on me if I was a little baby? The more I thought about it the more I understood this. On the other hand once in a while she must want to get the upper hand of my exigent, at times overbearing character. How could I make her see this was her chance to completely dominate me from time to time? Or on the other hand, that whenever she wanted to feel real safe I would be willing to diaper and baby her? The problem was even aggravated by the fact that when I had put on the diapers she hadn’t seen the little baby in me but an incontinent older person.

When that night we went to our room I still wasn’t decided what to do. At the very last moment I decided to give it another try. Laura hesitated for a moment, but then taking the diapers out of my hand she told me to lie down on the bed.

-If you persist in wanting to wear those things I can better try to get some benefit out of it.

With that she pulled down my pyjama pants and slipped the diapers under me. Of course I was immediately aroused.

-Well, well, my little baby seems to like this. I better get this very tight to keep that one inside.

Soon we were having the most passionate foreplay we had had in a long time and after a while the diapers were ripped off and we had wonderful sex. I even came a second time, which is quiet exceptional.

When we were ready, lying in each others arms she sighted deeply and commented ironically:

-Wow, what a baby!

After a while she left the bed and went to the bathroom as she always does after having sex. When she came back she was carrying a new pair of diapers.  I wasn’t sure what this meant.

-Hmm, darling I don’t think I can do more.

She smiled and then said:

-SST, let me take care of my little baby.

I fell asleep the happiest man in the world.

The next morning when we woke up she rolled over and putting her hand between my legs felt the diaper.

-All dry? That’s a good baby.

I wasn’t quiet prepared for this and didn’t know what to say. I just smiled. She kissed me on the forehead.

-Has my baby had a good sleep? Of course he has, little babies always do.

Getting out of bed she added:

-You wait here. I’ll be right back. Be a good baby.

While she was gone I wondered why she did this? To please me? Or on the contrary, to annoy me? Or did she like it, did she like to treat me gently but at the same time dominate me? I would soon discover that it was a combination of all three.

I heard her flush the toilet and then she came back.

-I wanted to give my baby a good bath but I see it is already getting late, so I guess that’ll be for another time. Come let me get you dressed.

She took me by the hand and led me to the bathroom where she prepared a toothbrush. When she told me to open my mouth I decided it had been enough.

-Are you going to shave me too?

She looked surprised, hesitated a second and then, putting the toothbrush on the wash table, replied:

-Ok, you do this yourself. I’ll put your cloths on the bed and I’ll be waiting for you downstairs to have breakfast.

She started to leave but turned around to add

-But darling don’t you touch your diapers!

-What? Why not?

-Because babies wear diapers.

-God, you must be crazy. What about the kids?

-Neither of them is at home. Besides who was it that wanted to be treated as a baby?

Before I could answer she was gone. I didn’t know what to do. I brushed my teeth and shaved, dancing from one leg to the other because by now I had to go to the toilet badly. When I was ready I decided to go to the toilet, to take off the diapers and put them back on. But when I tried to open the door to the toilet I found the door locked.  I hesitated again but not for long since I heard Laura coming up the stairs. I hurried to the bedroom and found ordinary weekend cloths lying on the bed. I was still trying to pull the denim pants over the diapers when my wife entered the room.

-This isn’t going to work.

-Of course it will, let me help my baby.

A couple of seconds later she had helped me in my jeans and handed me a shirt. The jeans pressed the diapers between my legs increasing the feeling of their presence. It felt quiet good. Automatically I went to my night table to look for my glasses but didn’t find them. Except for reading I don’t feel too handicapped without them but I’m used to wear them all the time. I went back to the bathroom thinking I might have taken them there but they weren’t there either.

-Darling have you seen my glasses?

-Little babies don’t need glasses.

I wanted to protest but then decided not to make a point of it for the moment.

When I entered the kitchen I noticed she had dressed the table for her as for a normal bread and coffee breakfast, but on my place there was only a spoon and a large bowl in which she poured some mushy food.

-I prepared you some semolina porridge. I’m sure you’ll love it.

I hate semolina and of course she knew.

-All right honey, you made your point. But that’s it, I’m not going to eat this.

-Come on baby, you have to eat otherwise you’ll become sick.

She took the spoon and taking some of the porridge brought it to my mouth, which I shut close. She put the spoon back in the bowl and stood up to fetch a napkin, which she fastened around my neck. Picking up the spoon again she made it clear that she was not going to relent.

-I wonder what Isabelle might say when I tell her the person I told her about really was you?

Isabelle is my wife’s best friend.

-What are you talking about?

-The other day I told Isabelle I had a friend whose husband suddenly told her he wanted to use diapers.

-What? You didn’t do that?

-Don’t be upset. I had to talk to somebody.

-What did she say?

-At first she thought it was a joke and then she said the guy should see a shrink.

Much later I would learn that after her initial reaction it had been Isabelle’s idea “to treat the guy as he asks”, since she was sure he would get enough of it pretty soon.  But at that moment I was preoccupied with the fact that Isabelle might suspect they had been talking about me.

-God, how could you? What if she starts thinking about it and suspects it is me?

-No, she’ll never know if I don’t tell her. And why should I tell her if my baby does what I ask him to do? Come on lets eat the porridge now.

With that she brought the spoon back to my mouth which I opened. After a couple of spoons I discovered that after all it didn’t taste that bad and I enjoyed being fed. After a while Laura told me to go on while she had her breakfast. When we were finished she asked me to clean the table while she got dressed. As soon as she had left I hurried to the downstairs toilet only to found it locked too. And at that moment, having guessed what I was up to, Laura called out telling me not to touch my diapers. I hurried upstairs to tell her I couldn’t hold out anymore but she replied smiling:

-That’s why you are wearing diapers, aren’t you darling?

I began worrying where this would stop but for the moment the situation was really my dream come true. So I smiled meekly and went back downstairs to clean up the table as she has asked but still trying not to wet my diapers

Next chapter: https://clairodon.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/a-dream-come-true-2/

Petit Mystère

Jacques se sentait bien. Nicole, sa femme, venait de lui changer sa couche et l’avait installé sur une couverture entourée de ces jouets, en plein milieu du jardin. Il y avait un beau soleil de printemps et il faisait paisible tout autour de lui. Le bonheur absolu quoi… Il ne comprenait pas ce qu’il lui arrivait mais il était content.

Il découvrit une nouvelle poupée parmi tout ces jouets et juste quand il voulait mettre le pied dans sa bouche pour goûter si elle goûtait aussi bon que sa poupée préférée, il entendait des voix.

De loin il voyait arriver Lucien, son associé, et Nicole, main dans la main.

 

Son sentiment de bien-être paisible changeait immédiatement dans une colère folle. Enragé il voulait se ruer vers le couple qui venait vers lui, mais il n’arrivait pas à se mettre debout. A la troisième tentative il réussissait à se dresser, mais après à peine  trois pas titubants il perdait son équilibre et retombait sur son derrière. Cela ne valait plus la peine de se remettre debout puisque les deux autres étaient déjà à coté de lui.

 

Avant que Jacques puisse se remettre Lucien lui adressait la parole en souriant : « Bonjour Jaco. T’as pas l’air très content de me voir ? ».  Jacques voulait lui dire ce qu’il pensait, qu’il ne voulait plus le voir dans sa maison, et surtout qu’il devait laisser tranquille sa femme. Mais il n’arrivait qu’à bredouiller quelques mots : « Luzé méchant, Luzé méchant. ». Sa femme et son ami éclataient de rire.

« Main non Jaco, Lucien n’est pas méchant. Ce n’est pas gentil de dire ça. Vite, demande gentiment pardon à Lucien.»

Cela enrageait encore plus Jacques mais il n’arrivait pas à exprimer sa rage. Par pure frustration il commençait à pleurer. Lucien s’agenouillait à coté de lui et, prenant un grand mouchoir, essuyait ces larmes. « Scht, scht, faut pas pleurer. Tu vas mouiller ta jolie robe. ». Et s’adressant à Nicole il demandait pourquoi elle habillait son mari en fille. « Il aime ça ? »  Pour la deuxième fois en 2 minutes Nicole éclatait de rire. « Non, au contraire je crois qu’il a ça en horreur. Mais moi j’adore ».

 

El tous les deux reprenaient à rire plus fort. Jacques par contre pleurait plus fort et se mettait à taper ces pieds par terre. Cette fois c’était Nicole qui s’agénouillait et, mettant sa main entre ces cuisses, le caressait. Il sentait son membre se raidir un peu, et presque immédiatement il poussait des petits cris. « Oh, Oh, Oh, Ooooooooooh ! ».  Nicole souriait à Lucien. « C’est marrant, il n’arrive plus à bander vraiment, et il éjacule tout de suite, mais il adore ça. »

Puis s’adressant à son mari elle demandait s’il se sentait mieux. Encore trop en train de jouir pour parler il ne réagissait pas.

« Alors viens, on va manger la panade » Jacques adorait la panade de fruits que sa femme préparait chaque après midi. Mais il avait honte. Pas seulement pour la scène qu’il venait de faire  mais aussi parce qu’il avait honte d’aimer tellement la panade. Il réfléchissait comment il allait se justifier. Il avait envie d’expliquer que c’était normal d’être frustré quand ta femme prend ton associé comme amant, ou quand ils te traitent comme si t’étais un petit bébé, ou quand tu n’arrive plus à bander, ni à dire ou à faire ce que tu veux. Mais la pensée de la panade supprimait toutes les autres idées. Il prenait la main de sa femme et se faisait redresser. Quand ils allaient ensemble à la terrasse il lui adressait un grand sourire et disait seulement : « J’aime la panade ». Et quand Nicole lui répondait avec un encore plus grand, sourire il ajoutait « Et je t’aime très très fort ». Nicole lui pressait la main et il se sentait tout heureux.

 

Arrivé à la terrasse il s’installait sur sa chaise. Nicole l’attachait avec un harnais, et lui mettait un bavoir autour du cou. Quand elle partait chercher la panade il remarquait que Lucien l’observait. Il ne savait pas quoi faire et  rougit. Lucien était sur le point de faire une remarque moqueuse mais son attention était déviée par le retour de Nicole.

 

Elle mettait la panade devant son mari et voulait le nourrir à la cuillère mais Lucien l’interrompait : « Laisse le manger tout seule ». Et avant que Nicole ne puisse réagir il la prenait par la taille et l’entrainait à l’intérieur.  Jacques hésitait une seconde. Allait-il piquer une nouvelle cris de jalousie ou est ce qu’il allait s’attaquer à sa panade ?

 

La panade gagnait. Mais manipuler la cuillère était plus difficile qu’il ne se souvenait. Bientôt la table, son  bavoir, sa figure, tout était couverte de panade. Abandonnant la cuillère il mettait ces mains dans le bol et apportait la nourriture à sa bouche par poignée, ce qui n’aidait en rien pour rester propre.

 

Il s’amusait et était tellement absorbé par ça que le retour de Nicole et Lucien le faisait sursauter. « Oh non, regarde ce que t’as encore fait ! Je ne sais vraiment pas te laisser seule une minute ». Jacques regardait sa femme d’une manière angoissée mais, voyant qu’elle n’était pas fâchée, il relaxait et souriait. « Jaco grand bébé, mangé tout seule ».

Tout le monde se mettait à rire de nouveau. Jacques ne remarquait même pas les vêtements et cheveux défaits de sa femme.

 

Nicole enlevait le bavoir et lui nettoyait la figure et les mains. Elle demandait à Lucien de tenir un œil sur son mari pendant qu’elle débarrassait. Lucien détachait le harnais et aidait Jacques à se mettre debout. Puis il l’emmenait vers ces jouets. Jacques, dandinant avec ces couches entre les jambes, le tenait par la main pour éviter de tomber.

 

Les deux hommes se taisaient un moment, puis Lucien se lançait.

« Tu sais Jaco, je sais que tu m’en veux, mais j’adore Nicole. Je crois que je vais venir m’installer ici. Elle a besoin d’un homme. »

Il se taisait une seconde. Jacques en profitait. « Mais, je suis là !».

Lucien éclatait de rire. « Elle a justement besoin d’un homme pour l’aider à s’occuper de toi mon pauvre gars, un père pour toi quoi. »

Avant que Jacques puisse réagir il continuait : « C’est marrant. Qui aurait pu imaginer que j’allais être seul patron au bureau, vivre dans ta maison, faire l’amour à ta femme, conduire ta bagnole, et que tu me laisserais faire en échange d’un bol de panade? ».

Jacques se concentrait. Il voulait dire que les choses ne se passeraient pas comme ça. Il savait qu’il devait se concentrer pour éviter de ne pas retomber dans ces petites phases de bébé. Mais juste quand il voulait ouvrir sa bouche il sentait une pression dans son bas ventre.  Il s’arrêtait en panique « oh non, pas maintenant, pas quand mon rival est là. ». Mais rien à faire, il s’arrêtait, s’accroupit, et sentant que sa figure devenait rouge il poussait. Julien le regardait incrédule pendant qu’il remplissait sa couche d’un gros pacquait. Jacques regardant l’autre avec des grands yeux peureux. Mais Lucien se remettait à rire «Dis moi que je rêve !». Et puis se tournant vers la maison il s’adressait en criant à Nicole qui venait de ressortir : « Chérie il y a ton bébé qui a besoin d’être changé ».

 

Nicole voyait de loin la scène et comprenait tout de suite ce qui venait de se passer. Elle soupirait, puis après une seconde d’hésitation, elle s’adressait à son amant : « Chéri, je suis occupé. Pourquoi toi tu ne changerais pas ce sale lange ? Il faudra que tu t’y habitue tôt ou tard, non ? »

Master of The Universe Chapter 2

What happened before.

Chapter 1: For 32 year old Anthony, a very successful Wall Street executive, the world starts to change when he suddenly develops a bedwetting problem, and his wife Martha insists he wears diapers to bed until the doctors determine the cause. Without giving a final verdict pending the results of exhaustive examinations the specialist suggests there is no physical cause, which makes Anthony wonder if the relaxation exercises Alice, Martha’s friend who temporally lives with them, gives him aren’t too effective making him sleep too deep causing the loss of control.

Chapter 2

Anthony was deeply hurt and furious about the way the specialist had treated him, implying his bedwetting problem was not new and had no physical cause. But gradually he calmed down and thinking over the situation he was convinced that Alice’s treatment had to be the cause.

Agreed, it was a fact that her treatment had immediately cured his insomnia’s without causing any side effect in the beginning. But his sleep had steadily become deeper until the actual situation in which his sleep was so deep he lost all control over his body. It had to be the explanation. He would stop the exercises at once.

When that evening he told her so, Alice smiled sympathetically.

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

-Are you sure this small problem isn’t largely compensated by the most refreshing sleep you ever experienced and by feeling on top of the world all the time? Sleeping with diapers can’t be that bad.

-So you don’t deny it’s the cause?

-I didn’t say that. I’ve treated lots of people in the same way and not one of them developed a bedwetting problem. I’m sure there is another cause and they’ll find it soon enough.

-That’s not the impression I’m getting from the physicians. Until now they haven’t any indication for a physical cause. No, I’m convinced that it must be you.

-OK, OK… If you are decided, we stop everything.

-I wonder. Why can’t we do the same as in the beginning when I slept well but without having side effects?

-Since I told you that it can’t be my treatment I don’t see what I can do. But let’s stop and see what happens. If you change your mind you just tell me. No hard feelings.

Almost immediately his insomnia’s came back, he felt tired again and lost his confidence. In stead of sticking to his strategies he reversed decisions all the time and started losing money again. It was the same vicious circle as before. But even worse, the second or third night after stopping the hypnotic exercises there was another accident. He had been so sure that it wouldn’t occur any more he had refused to wear diapers. Martha was annoyed and the next day insisted he wear diapers until the problem was definitely solved. In those circumstances he decided he could as well resume his sessions with Alice and see what would happen while he waited for the final diagnosis of the specialist. He was annoyed that after all the blood tests, scanners etc were completed he couldn’t get immediately a new appointment. But in the mean time Alice’s treatment worked wonders again, and to his surprise it didn’t cause his bedwetting to resume. When he finally went back to the doctor he wasn’t surprised she told him there were indeed no physical causes. Since he hadn’t had any problem for the last two weeks, and maybe also due to the general optimistic state of mind he had recovered thanks to Alice, he assumed it was over. The specialist hadn’t been so reassuring however.

-Those things come and go, as you know.

-How would I know?

She had given him an amused glance but choose not to react to his irritation.

-Sometimes it doesn’t occur during years and then suddenly it comes back. But for people who have this problem at an adult age my experience is that without proper treatment it won’t go away. But you are a special case. I’ve never had a patient who after having stopped bedwetting as a child started bedwetting again when he was in his thirties. So maybe you are right to think your problem was just incidental. I suggest you wait and see. If the bedwetting would resume however I recommend you seek treatment. Don’t try to help yourself with alarm-clock devices or other things that are readily sold. They address only the symptoms but don’t cure. I’ll send you the address of a specialised centre that is very successful, both with children as with adults, and I’ll provide also a short report about the examinations we did, so that they don’t have to do it all over. But let’s hope it won’t be necessary. Good luck, it was a pleasure having you as a patient.

For the next month or two he didn’t wet his bed and at the same time he had regained his wonder-boy reputation at the office. In the beginning Martha had insisted he continue to wear diapers at night but after a while agreed it didn’t seem necessary any more. He was glad to be back in control of his live, taking advantage again of his success with beautiful woman and resuming his flirtations with Alice. Still, not everything was perfect. He was frustrated that Alice didn’t respond to his advances. It was the first time in his live that he couldn’t get the woman he wanted and to his surprise this made him long for her every day more. He wondered if he had really fallen in love with her. At the same time Martha was behaving different and he increasingly resented her closeness to Alice.

After 1 or 2 months he started having accidents again. First just once but then it happened another couple of times and he soon found himself back in diapers at night. At first it had been sporadically but after a while it had become an almost daily problem. He limited his liquid intake, effectively stopping to drink after lunch time. But this didn’t affect the number of accidents, only their size. Martha, worried that he might damage his kidneys, wanted him to look for some form of treatment but he refused, insisting that it would solve itself soon enough. After a while he got so used to using diapers at night that he resumed normal drinking habits. At the surface it seemed as if he didn’t care, but both Martha and Alice knew better. At first they never talked about it, sensing it was a taboo subject. But after a while it seemed as if Anthony had accepted his condition. From time to time he would come downstairs looking for something, wearing diapers under his shorts even when he knew he might encounter Alice. On one of those occasions the two of them had been chatting for a couple of minutes standing in front of the refrigerator when suddenly Alice decided to break the taboo.

-Martha told me it doesn’t bother you anymore to wear diapers.

Anthony was surprised, blushed slightly, but responded calmly:

-I guess she is right. I’m used to it.

-Do you wet them every night?

He blushed a little more.

-Almost.

She came closer and tapped him on the bottom.

-It feels funny.

Her interest excited him.

-Can I have a look?

He hesitated but then pulled down his shorts. Alice smilingly told him to turn around.

-It looks cute.

-Do you think so? I think it looks silly.

-No, and Martha too likes it.

-She never told me.

-She is afraid you might get upset. I told you once that in her eyes it makes you more vulnerable, more accessible. But she thinks that’s not how her macho husband wants his relationship with his wife to be.

-I’m not that macho, I’m just strong. And the fact that I wear diapers at night won’t change that.

He pulled up his shorts and started to leave the kitchen.

-Strong? Anthony don’t kid yourself. You have always been a little boy. And that’s exactly what I have always liked in you. And you’re so cute trying to give yourself a macho attitude.

Anthony had stopped and looked at her. She was smiling, but gently, not in her usual sarcastic way.

-And you wearing diapers makes you even cuter.

He didn’t know what to say, so without answering he turned around again and left the kitchen.

From then on the fact that he wore diapers at night was nothing special anymore. They hardly ever mentioned it but it was no longer taboo. When for instance one of the women was going to the supermarket Anthony would remind her to buy diapers. From time to time a gently mocking remark would be made but he wouldn’t take that in stride. If however he had thought it would go on like that without further consequences he was in for a bad surprise.

One day Martha had asked him to accompany her to the opening of the exposition from one of their painter friends. Alice was gone for the week-end and Anthony was happy to take his wife out. At the exposition they had had a couple of drinks and then had to listen to some boring speeches. As they were standing there his mind wandered off until he suddenly felt some warm wetness running in his jeans. Looking down he noticed that there was a large dark spot in his crotch and on the inside of one of the legs. He couldn’t believe it. Immediately he started moving to the exit, attracting quiet some attention. Martha followed him wondering what was going on. When they were outside he stammered he didn’t feel well and wanted to go home. They were lucky to get immediately a taxi. Once inside she wanted him to relax on her shoulder but he pulled away, and feeling that his pants were really wet, he installed himself on the edge of the seat fearing to soil it. She didn’t understand and wanted to know what was going on. At first he told her nothing but on her insistence he promised to tell her when they would be home. Once home he led her pay the taxi while he went immediately to his room to change. When she entered the bathroom he was still washing himself and the wet trousers were lying on the floor. Martha couldn’t believe her eyes.

-God, Anthony what’s going on?

-I, I don’t know. Martha please help me.

-You must seek help. I can’t believe there is no treatment. Maybe you should see another specialist.

-Well, to be honest, she did give me a recommendation for a specialised centre.

-And you never went there?

-At first I thought it would stop, and then I got used to it.

-What are you planning to do now?

-I’ll make an appointment.

On Monday he called.

-I would like to make an appointment. Dr Carpenter recommended me your services.

-Ah, a bedwetting problem?

-Yes.

-Let’s see. How about Thursday at 7.30 PM? That’s not too late?

-No, that’s perfect.

-Could I have your name please?

-Anthony Cleveland.

-All right, and what’s your son’s name?

-Excuse me?

-I need the name of the patient too.

-I’m the patient.

-Oh, I see. Well, Mister Cleveland we’ll be expecting you on Thursday at 7.30 then. Looking forward to meeting you.

-Thank you. See you on Thursday.

The next day his boss, one of the senior partners of the firm, wanted to see him urgently about an investment scheme he had proposed to the board. This was very unusual. The scheme was the last and essential piece of the strategy he had devised to recover all the risks that were still looming from his previous mistakes. If the scheme didn’t work the losses would be enormous but based on all the analysis’s he had done he was extremely confident it would work. Normally his boss went along with all his proposals but the fact that he wanted to see him before the board meeting was a bad sign. And indeed his boss wanted him to change the proposal. Anthony defended his idea brilliantly, all the while pondering if he had to tell this was his only hope to recover the outstanding bad positions. It was obvious that his bosses didn’t realise in what position he was. But after a while he sensed he could convince his boss without having to clarify the relation with his other investments. When his boss left his office he felt elated. The meeting had been a complete success with his boss assuring him he would defend the proposal in the board, which guaranteed its approval. Sighing deeply Anthony relaxed, closing his eyes and leaning back in his seat, when suddenly he felt he was wetting his pants. He jumped up and ran to the private bathroom next to his office. His pants were really wet but since he was wearing a dark suit it didn’t show too much. He remained in the bathroom for a while pondering what to do. Of course he couldn’t remain in wet pants for the rest of the day. He decided to inform his secretary he was feeling sick and to go home.

The next 2 days he wore diapers to the office, and on Thursday evening went to his appointment. He was received by a young, very pretty secretary.

-Mr Cleveland? Nice meeting you. You are right on time.

-After having heard your voice I couldn’t wait to meet you. And I’m not disappointed.

She smiled.

-There are still a couple of patients before you but don’t worry, it are just follow up visits. If you could go to the waiting room for a moment, I promise it won’t be long.

There were two women waiting with theirs kids, about 7 and 10 years old respectively. He felt embarrassed wondering if they knew why he was there. After a couple of minutes the secretary came in.

-Mr Cleveland I’m ready to prepare your file, so if you could come over to my desk we can do the necessary paperwork.

Anthony had the definite impression that the two women looked at him in an amused way. If they had doubted until then they knew now.

The “paperwork” at first consisted of entering the normal data in the computer: identity, marital status, profession (she seemed impressed by his vice-presidential position), insurance, medical history…. She asked for the report of the specialist and then started to fill in a specific questionnaire.

-How often do you wet your bed? Almost every night, 2 or 3 times a week, once a week, 2 or 3 times a month, once a month, or less?

Anthony was surprised by the direct way of entering in the subject. Blushing slightly he stammered:

-Almost daily.

She looked up smiling and seemed surprised. He didn’t know is she was surprised because of his answer or about the change in his tone. But she continued in a neutral voice.

-Since when has your child. Oh sorry, I mean, have you been bedwetting?

-A couple of months.

-Have you had previous periods of bedwetting?

-Not since I was a small child.

The questions went on for a while: in what part of the night did he urinate, did he wake up after wetting the bed, did he fecundate too during his sleep (he was of course offended by this question),…

-Does your child, oh excuse me again. Do you wet your pants during the day?

-I do, since this week, he whispered.

This time she was genuinely amused. Without looking at the questionnaire she asked:

-Every day?

-No, twice.

-Twice a day?

-No. Two times this week.

-How do you arrange to work?

-Diapers.

Now she smiled broadly but not unkindly.

-A vice-president in diapers!

Her amused spontaneity worked contiguously and Anthony couldn’t help smiling himself.

-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make fun of you.

-That’s all right. It probably is funny, if you look at it from the right angle.

-I’m glad I didn’t offend you. But let’s finish this thing. We’re almost through.

After finishing the questionnaire they continued chatting for a while. There was a kind of sympathetic intimacy between them and Anthony had dropped his usual flirtatious manner. In the mean time the two other patients had been received and after his file had been brought to the consultation room he was ushered in. He was met by a good natured, somewhat heavy lady in her mid fifties who came from behind her desk to meet him.

-Nice to meet you Mr Cleveland. Have a seat.

-Thank you.

-Mr Cleveland, or can I call you Anthony?

-Of course. What is your name please?

-I prefer that my patients call me Misses Bernstein.

-Ah. I see.

-Right. Anthony you are quiet a unique case.

-I figured.

-Cases of adults who wet their pants during the day are not very common. Cases of adults who suddenly develop a bedwetting problem are even more exceptional. I’ve treated both kinds of cases but never a combined one.

-So, what are my chances?

-Oh, don’t worry. We’ll cure you. But I’ll come to that later on. Let me first give you some insight in our method.

-Yes please.

-Right. Our treatment is based on the assumption that non-physical induced incontinence is a sleeping disorder caused by affective insecurity.

-God no! Not that kind of stuff. You must be kidding.

-Don’t jump to conclusions. Let me explain first. I said that it is based on an assumption. We don’t have any proof and we don’t try to proof it. We only know that the treatment based on this assumption is highly successful. I told you it is a sleeping disorder and you are wondering how that can be since you have day time problems. Right?

Anthony nodded and Mrs Bernstein droned on.

– Right. We all have split-seconds of sleep during the day. We don’t realise this because the moments are too short. When we sleep our sub-consciousness takes over. Normally this happens when we are deeply asleep but in some people the sub-consciousness takes over much faster, even instantly. Don’t ask me why, we don’t know. Finally I told you we assume it is caused by affective insecurity. This means that we assume that persons who suffered a sudden loss of affection or are fearing to lose it, unconsciously defend themselves by returning to a state in which affection is given unconditionally: a dependent diapered baby

-That’s what I feared. Freudian bull-shit.

-Not exactly. We don’t explore the long forgotten past to explain and cure the present problems. We look at the actual affective relationships and base our treatment in those. Let me give examples. In children, bedwetting is often caused by obvious reasons, for instance a divorce of the parents, or the birth of a sibling. Of course we can’t undo the divorce or take away the sibling. But we can help the child to recover his affective security and by doing so take away his need to resort to unconscious remedies. In some cases there is absolute recovery within a couple of weeks. With adults the causes are less obvious. In exceptional cases like yours the treatment can take months, even years, but I’ve never had, or read about a treatment that didn’t succeed.

– Months, years? You must be kidding.

– No, I just don’t like to make empty promises.

Anthony was pondering his options. And just as he was thinking he had nothing to lose Mrs Bernstein said the same.

–          What do you have to lose anyway? Give it a try, if you lose patience just drop out and continue to wear diapers as you do now anyway.

–          I know, you have a point there. But what does the treatment consist of exactly?

–          Well, you will have to come here once a week. I suppose you don’t have time to come more frequently, do you?

Anthony nodded.

–          Right. Next time you should come with your wife.

Anthony reacted surprised, but then nodded again.

–          Right. We will give you exercises to do, here but mostly at home. And then we will see. Each patient is different.

Anthony didn’t think he was much wiser with that explanation, but nodded again.

–          Right. What do you say? Taking a chance?

–          OK as you said, nothing to lose.

–          Right. Ok let’s start then.

–          Now?

–          Why not?

Anthony hesitated for a second, but then agreed.

–          Right. Well the first thing, very important, is that you accept that you are incontinent. OK?

Anthony nodded a little hesitantly.

–          OK, say it.

–          What?

–          That you are incontinent. I want you to say it loud and clear.

Anthony looked lost but then did as he was asked

–          I’m incontinent

–          Louder

–          I’m incontinent!

–          Right. Incontinent persons wear protection.

–          Euh, I guess so.

–          You wear diapers now, don’t you?

–          Euh yes.

–          Take of your trousers.

–          What?

–          Short sighted persons wear glasses and incontinent people wear diapers, right? Nothing to be ashamed of.

–          I guess so

–          Take of your trousers then.

Anthony turned all red but did as he was asked. When he was ready she continued her instructions telling him he had to wear his diapers visibly as much as possible. Just as he would wear glasses.

–          What do you mean?

–          To start with from the moment you enter in this institute you take off your trousers. At home you should do the same. And when you are ready you will do it with your friends, at the office, …

Anthony burst out in laughter.

–          You must be kidding.

–          I can’t force you, but if you accept that wearing diapers because you are incontinent is your normal condition, the faster you will recover control over your bladder. It’s up to you.

Before Antony could react she buzzed for her assistant who came into the room immediately.

–          Maggie could you show Anthony around, and make the appointments. He will be coming every week from now.

She extended her hand and said good bye. Anthony embarrassed to be in diapers in front of the pretty assistant tried to cover his diapers by holding his pants before him, but Maggie took them out of his hands.

–          OK you can give those to me, I will show you were you can keep them.

And holding the door open for him she followed him in the other room. When they were on their own she didn’t wait a second.

– Very cute Mister Vice-president, very cute.

Anthony turned around and smiled meekly. She showed him some lockers next to the entrance, disposed his trousers in them and suggested he take of his jacket which he did. Next she made appointments for the next couple of weeks. He could choose between Tuesday and Thursday mornings. He wondered what he was going to tell at the office, but settled for Tuesdays.

Next she asked him to follow her again. As they passed the waiting room he noticed a young man of about 20, reading some papers wearing diapers without trousers. Anthony, very conscious himself of walking around in diapers, nodded back but the fact that both of them wear wearing diapers didn’t seem to be of any importance to the other patient.

Anthony moved fast but suddenly turned towards Maggie and asked her why the two little boys that had been waiting there before had not been wearing diapers. Maggie explained that most patients only had a bedwetting problems and didn’t wear protection during the day. By that time they had entered a large play and gym room. There was nobody inside and Maggie went straight on to an adjoining room. It was a large dressing room with a number of banks, shelves and clothing hangers. On one side of the room Anthony noticed the entrance to the showers. A classic dressing room of a gym club. Except that at the far end he noticed a number of small benches with thick cushions. Next to those benches there were some shelves with stacks of diapers. Maggie went up to them and taking a diaper, she handed it over to him:

–          Before leaving you better change, don’t you thin?

Anthony looked down and was surprised to notice he had been walking around in a wet diaper. He turned all red and hesitated for a moment.

–          You don’t need any help I suppose?

He looked up to see her gentle but slightly mocking smile. He wanted to take the diaper she held for him but then had a sudden inspiration. With a big grin he answered that indeed he did need help. Maggie looked at him, saw his grin, and laughed.

– Naughty boy, you would like that, wouldn’t you? Well no, that’s not included in the package.

She pushed the diaper in his hands, took him by the shoulders, turned him around, and tapped him on his wet diaper.

– Hurry up now mister vice president.

Anthony changed into a dry diaper and went back through the waiting room where a mother with another young boy where waiting. He almost ran through the room convinced they had looked at each other in an amused way. When he arrived at the reception desk Maggie was occupied on the phone. She covered the speaker and whispered

– See you on Tuesday big boy, and don’t forget to bring your mommy.

Since she uncovered the speaker and started talking again on the phone he couldn’t answer to that snippy remark.

He went to recover his pants and drove home, wondering if he was not crazy to go on with this treatment

Next chapter: https://clairodon.wordpress.com/2010/03/27/master-of-the-universe-3/