As I have very few clear or coherent memories of my childhood I don’t recall when I started to be attracted to diapers. I do have a small number of memory flashes and I know that during some time I had problems occasionally wetting my bed, as have many boys. Less common is the fact that when I was 5 years old I still regularly wetted my pants during the day in kindergarten I also remember one day when I was in first or second grade I completely messed up my pants in class. If all this was an unconscious invitation to get diapered, my parents unfortunately didn’t get it. At night I was not allowed to drink before going to bed and there was always a plastic mattress protector under the sheets but otherwise my parents didn’t take further precautions.
The next memory is from many years later. I don’t remember how I discovered I liked the feeling of being “pampered” but when I was 13 or 14 years old I sometimes padded my briefs with a small towel, once even going to school that way. At that same age I bought one of those notebooks in which 6 year olds learn to write between two lines. I amused myself writing slowly, forcing myself to form every letter very carefully. I also recall that while babysitting at the neighbours I tried to put on a pair of bright yellow shorts of their 5 years old daughter, which didn’t fit of course.
For the next 20 years or so I don’t remember being interested in diapers. In the mean time I had finished law and business studies, had started a very successful career, was happily married and had two children. Once more I don’t have any recollection of the first time my long forgotten interests came back. The children were already a long time past diaper age, I guess they were about 7 and 9 years old. I don’t know if I went searching for it on purpose but one day I discovered a stack of discarded cloths of my kids and a number of cotton diapers. To my regret the cloths weren’t of any use of course but for the first time I was able to wear real diapers and soon rediscovered the pleasure of wetting them. From then on I continued to diaper me occasionally.
But shortly after my discovery the stack of old cloths and diapers (or what remained of it since I had to throw them away after use, not having the opportunity to wash and dry them) had disappeared. (I suppose my wife had discarded them or donated them to some charity). So I started buying disposable diaper-briefs and plastic incontinence pants. On a couple of occasions I bought a pacifier, a baby-bottle or a bib which increased my feeling of well being.
Of course my wife, Laura, didn’t know about my special interests. With almost all my time consumed by job, family, friends and hobbies (mostly reading and some tennis) and considering that my wife and I spend most of our free time together it will be clear that I had very few opportunities to enjoy my secret pleasures. Mostly on occasions of a rare business trip. But that didn’t bother me at all. I enjoyed it when I had the occasion and that was it. I never paid much attention to it nor did I wonder if there were other people with the same interests. One day to my big surprise I saw some Adult Babies on a talk show. The discovery that there were others excited me but the slightly exhibitionist nature and the silliness of the people on the show didn’t appeal to me.
A couple of years later however I discovered the Adult Baby sites on the Internet. (I can’t say that it was a coincidence since I typed the word diaper in one of the search engines). I was very surprised to discover this whole hidden world. This time I did identify with this world (or at least parts of it). I enjoyed reading diaper-stories, enjoyed the photos of diapered women and for a short period participated in one of the forums. What excited me most was the fact that some AB’s seemed to share their experience with their partners. The possibility to share this part of me with my wife was enormously appealing. My dream became to be able to use diapers in presence of my wife, -eventually even to convince her to diaper me and treat me as a baby- and to get her to dress as a little girl, eventually even to get her in diapers.
To realise these dreams I conceived a double plan. On the one hand I asked my wife to wear my daughters younger looking cloths, for instance a short pleaded chequered skirt. My daughter being an adolescent by now and being taller and somewhat heavier than my wife the choice was rather limited. So I started buying skirts and dresses for my wife. I was pleasantly surprised by the degree she was willing to go along with this at first.
My first goal however was to get Laura to accept me wearing diapers. The simplest way of course would have been just to tell her. But that seemed impossible. So I decided to simulate a medical problem. The first step was to have some “accidents” during my sleep. The first time I wanted to pee in bed it was much more difficult than I expected. It cost me an enormous amount of concentration to wet my pyjamas and bed just a little bid. But doing this had been pleasant. And the next morning there was a yellow stain with a diameter of about 10 centimetres on the sheet. I didn’t say anything to my wife and that evening we went to bed without her saying anything. I was wondering if she hadn’t noticed but this seemed highly implausible. I waited a couple of days and then had another accident. Again it cost a lot of effort. That day when we went to sleep Laura did ask me if I had some kind of problem I told her I didn’t know and agreed to go to a physician. My wife, usually very concerned about health issues, didn’t seem too worried. But she did make an appointment the next day with our general practitioner, which, as I had expected, sent me to a specialist. I got an appointment with the specialist a couple of days later.
In the mean time I had commented this plan on the AB Internet forum I was participating in at that time and had received quiet some reactions, unanimously negative. People told me that organising such a lie was disrespectful towards my wife, that one day I would have to tell her the truth and that it would be worse, etc. Since I really love and respect Laura a lot this comments made me think. But for the moment I decided to go on. The specialist, to whom I told only about one accident, said he was sure that there was no problem, “this things can happen”, but just to make sure he wanted complete analysis and tests to be done.
On the way home I bought a pack of disposable diaper-briefs. Relating the visit to my wife I told her the doctor had been very reassuring, but that he wanted a number of analysis before he could tell anything specific, and he had recommended wearing diapers in the mean time. Since I hadn’t had an accident for more than a week now this didn’t make much sense but Laura didn’t say anything. She seemed puzzled however, especially when she learned I had bought the diapers already. That night I was very excited putting on the diapers and sleeping with diapers next to my wife. I felt happy. It seemed like a dream come true. But I realised that I had made only one small step towards my goal. The next evening when I was preparing to diaper me again Laura stopped me, asking if this was really necessary. I hesitated for a second and then answered that I didn’t know, maybe not, but that I didn’t mind wearing a diaper, on the contrary that I kind of liked it. She couldn’t believe or understand it.
-What do you mean, kind of like it?
-Well, it gives me a good feeling. It feels slightly erotic.
Laura looked at me in disbelief. And then suddenly seemed to understand something.
-Did you do this on purpose?
-I wanted to tell you and didn’t know how.
-Tell me what?
So I told her about being attracted to diapers all my life, that I wasn’t alone with this interest, that diapers were not a substitute for making love, on the contrary that I wanted to share this with her because I loved her and was convinced that our love making would be even more passionate if I could wear diapers when I wanted, that me telling her all this was a proof of my love for her and of my trust in her, that it was not only diapers but that I wanted to be treated as a little baby by her just once in a while,….. We talked for a very long time but she didn’t seem able to accept it. Especially the fact that I not only wore diapers but actually used them shocked her. She used the words disgusting and sick to describe me.
That night I didn’t sleep very well and the next day I thought our conversation over and over trying to figure out what to do. I knew that if I abandoned now I would never get another chance. On the other hand I didn’t want to hurt my wife. I started to realise what a shock it must have been learning all this after more than 15 years of marriage. Of course the fact that I actually liked to use diapers shocked with her sense of hygiene but that was not the real problem. Laura is a very independent but at the same time somewhat insecure person and even if she is very enterprising the fact that I will always be there to back her up when something would go wrong is important for her functioning. Now I was changing that relation without any warning. How could she rely on me if I was a little baby? The more I thought about it the more I understood this. On the other hand once in a while she must want to get the upper hand of my exigent, at times overbearing character. How could I make her see this was her chance to completely dominate me from time to time? Or on the other hand, that whenever she wanted to feel real safe I would be willing to diaper and baby her? The problem was even aggravated by the fact that when I had put on the diapers she hadn’t seen the little baby in me but an incontinent older person.
When that night we went to our room I still wasn’t decided what to do. At the very last moment I decided to give it another try. Laura hesitated for a moment, but then taking the diapers out of my hand she told me to lie down on the bed.
-If you persist in wanting to wear those things I can better try to get some benefit out of it.
With that she pulled down my pyjama pants and slipped the diapers under me. Of course I was immediately aroused.
-Well, well, my little baby seems to like this. I better get this very tight to keep that one inside.
Soon we were having the most passionate foreplay we had had in a long time and after a while the diapers were ripped off and we had wonderful sex. I even came a second time, which is quiet exceptional.
When we were ready, lying in each others arms she sighted deeply and commented ironically:
-Wow, what a baby!
After a while she left the bed and went to the bathroom as she always does after having sex. When she came back she was carrying a new pair of diapers. I wasn’t sure what this meant.
-Hmm, darling I don’t think I can do more.
She smiled and then said:
-SST, let me take care of my little baby.
I fell asleep the happiest man in the world.
The next morning when we woke up she rolled over and putting her hand between my legs felt the diaper.
-All dry? That’s a good baby.
I wasn’t quiet prepared for this and didn’t know what to say. I just smiled. She kissed me on the forehead.
-Has my baby had a good sleep? Of course he has, little babies always do.
Getting out of bed she added:
-You wait here. I’ll be right back. Be a good baby.
While she was gone I wondered why she did this? To please me? Or on the contrary, to annoy me? Or did she like it, did she like to treat me gently but at the same time dominate me? I would soon discover that it was a combination of all three.
I heard her flush the toilet and then she came back.
-I wanted to give my baby a good bath but I see it is already getting late, so I guess that’ll be for another time. Come let me get you dressed.
She took me by the hand and led me to the bathroom where she prepared a toothbrush. When she told me to open my mouth I decided it had been enough.
-Are you going to shave me too?
She looked surprised, hesitated a second and then, putting the toothbrush on the wash table, replied:
-Ok, you do this yourself. I’ll put your cloths on the bed and I’ll be waiting for you downstairs to have breakfast.
She started to leave but turned around to add
-But darling don’t you touch your diapers!
-What? Why not?
-Because babies wear diapers.
-God, you must be crazy. What about the kids?
-Neither of them is at home. Besides who was it that wanted to be treated as a baby?
Before I could answer she was gone. I didn’t know what to do. I brushed my teeth and shaved, dancing from one leg to the other because by now I had to go to the toilet badly. When I was ready I decided to go to the toilet, to take off the diapers and put them back on. But when I tried to open the door to the toilet I found the door locked. I hesitated again but not for long since I heard Laura coming up the stairs. I hurried to the bedroom and found ordinary weekend cloths lying on the bed. I was still trying to pull the denim pants over the diapers when my wife entered the room.
-This isn’t going to work.
-Of course it will, let me help my baby.
A couple of seconds later she had helped me in my jeans and handed me a shirt. The jeans pressed the diapers between my legs increasing the feeling of their presence. It felt quiet good. Automatically I went to my night table to look for my glasses but didn’t find them. Except for reading I don’t feel too handicapped without them but I’m used to wear them all the time. I went back to the bathroom thinking I might have taken them there but they weren’t there either.
-Darling have you seen my glasses?
-Little babies don’t need glasses.
I wanted to protest but then decided not to make a point of it for the moment.
When I entered the kitchen I noticed she had dressed the table for her as for a normal bread and coffee breakfast, but on my place there was only a spoon and a large bowl in which she poured some mushy food.
-I prepared you some semolina porridge. I’m sure you’ll love it.
I hate semolina and of course she knew.
-All right honey, you made your point. But that’s it, I’m not going to eat this.
-Come on baby, you have to eat otherwise you’ll become sick.
She took the spoon and taking some of the porridge brought it to my mouth, which I shut close. She put the spoon back in the bowl and stood up to fetch a napkin, which she fastened around my neck. Picking up the spoon again she made it clear that she was not going to relent.
-I wonder what Isabelle might say when I tell her the person I told her about really was you?
Isabelle is my wife’s best friend.
-What are you talking about?
-The other day I told Isabelle I had a friend whose husband suddenly told her he wanted to use diapers.
-What? You didn’t do that?
-Don’t be upset. I had to talk to somebody.
-What did she say?
-At first she thought it was a joke and then she said the guy should see a shrink.
Much later I would learn that after her initial reaction it had been Isabelle’s idea “to treat the guy as he asks”, since she was sure he would get enough of it pretty soon. But at that moment I was preoccupied with the fact that Isabelle might suspect they had been talking about me.
-God, how could you? What if she starts thinking about it and suspects it is me?
-No, she’ll never know if I don’t tell her. And why should I tell her if my baby does what I ask him to do? Come on lets eat the porridge now.
With that she brought the spoon back to my mouth which I opened. After a couple of spoons I discovered that after all it didn’t taste that bad and I enjoyed being fed. After a while Laura told me to go on while she had her breakfast. When we were finished she asked me to clean the table while she got dressed. As soon as she had left I hurried to the downstairs toilet only to found it locked too. And at that moment, having guessed what I was up to, Laura called out telling me not to touch my diapers. I hurried upstairs to tell her I couldn’t hold out anymore but she replied smiling:
-That’s why you are wearing diapers, aren’t you darling?
I began worrying where this would stop but for the moment the situation was really my dream come true. So I smiled meekly and went back downstairs to clean up the table as she has asked but still trying not to wet my diapers